A heartfelt “Welcome” to my many new subscribers! During the past month, the 500th person signed up for my blog. I sincerely appreciate each and every one of you. Your companionship on this journey encourages me to keep writing.

In November, my short story, “Lost in the Crowd,” was published in the Inspire Community anthology. As a thank you to Diane S., my 500th subscriber, I’m sending a free copy of this collection of inspiring stories by fifteen authors. For all of you wonderful followers, I’m sharing my published story in this post below. The anthology can be purchased here.

Happy Holidays…Merry Christmas…and Happy New Year to all. I wish you joy and peace this year in the midst of our crazy world.

Lost in the Crowd

As a little girl, I lived with my parents on a large mission station in southern Nigeria. Both my mom and dad taught at a high school on the outskirts of Egbe, a rural town surrounded by savannah brush and tropical rainforest.

The other families on the compound became close friends and seemed more like relatives than neighbors because of our daily interactions. In keeping with this family feeling, we called each adult Aunt or Uncle. Their children essentially took the place of my cousins who lived across the ocean in the U.S.

Every few weeks, all the families on the compound gathered in a backyard to share a potluck meal. I loved those relaxing family gatherings. After dinner, we played games, performed skits, and sang cheerful hymns.

During summer mornings, we did our chores, then rode bikes around the compound. I’d play with Matchbox^® cars with my brothers and their friends in the soft dirt of our front yard. In the afternoons, we hiked up a narrow path through the underbrush behind our neighbors’ homes to the swimming pool constructed along a granite slab. The cool water refreshed us under the hot, equatorial sun.

On Sundays, we worshipped together at the Nigerian church in town. After lunch and a rest hour, five girls my age came to our living room where Mom taught a Bible story, then served hot tea with milk and sugar.

Two weeks after I turned six, I boarded one of the planes in our mission’s fleet of single-engine aircraft and, with the other kids from our station, flew four hundred miles north to Kent Academy. In the village of Miango, our mission organization operated a boarding school for grades one through nine, that adhered to the American educational system.

Unfamiliar Surroundings

When I entered the crowded dining room that first evening, the clinking of plates and utensils filled me with an overwhelming sense of homesickness. The unfamiliar chatter and laughter were so far removed from my beloved family at home. I felt lost in the crowd of strangers.

At the end of that lonely semester, I was thrilled to return to my Egbe home. We had a Christmas potluck at my friend Betsie’s house. Strings of white fairy lights hung from the branches of tall trees on either side of her backyard, creating a bubble of brightness in the dark, African night. I was in paradise.

Walking up to a long table on the grass off the back porch, my mom placed two rectangular baking pans covered with tin foil. I peeked under one lid. “Yay! You made macaroni and cheese because it’s my favorite. We didn’t get that in the dorm.”

Lifting the foil on the smaller pan, I took a deep whiff. “And chocolate fudge, too! I haven’t had fudge in forever.” I stepped close and looked up at Mom. “At school, I missed you and your yummy food.”

Mom hugged me. “I missed you too, Sweetie.” Tears glistened in her eyes.

After we ate and set our plates aside, the happy group sang hymns. We had no songbooks, but the grown-ups belted out the hymns from memory—every single verse. Sitting on the ground in front of my parents, I hugged my knees and swayed back and forth as the beautiful voices flowed over me. I was home. Home with people who knew who I was and how I fit in to this small community of family and friends.

Back to Dormitory Life

Four blissful weeks flew by. In January my brothers and I flew to Kent Academy again. Only the thought of my parents’ two-week visit to us in April kept me going during the lonely months.

From then on, I only lived at home during summers and Christmas vacations through eleventh grade. The one exception was fifth grade, when we lived in California on furlough.

Through the years in the artificially intimate surroundings of dorm life, my classmates eventually became as close as sisters and brothers. However, I often felt alone during the busy activities of school life, longing for my parents and other close relationships of my Egbe family back home.

My senior year of high school coincided with a furlough, so we moved back to California. It was wonderful to be with my parents and siblings every day. But just a week after my high school graduation, I hugged Mom and Dad goodbye at San Francisco airport, and they returned to their ministry in Nigeria.

On my own for college and free from the mission’s strict rules, I rebelled against my parents’ expectations. However, I desperately sought to replace the community I’d lost in my upheaval from Nigeria to California. Attempting to fit in with my peers, I followed the partying crowd. Yet, that lifestyle left me empty and discouraged. How could I replace my childhood sisters and brothers? And how on earth could I marry a man I hadn’t known all my life?

God provided a girlfriend who liked to party but had also been raised in the church. On Sundays, we’d attend services with her family. The friendly atmosphere reminded me of the camaraderie I’d experienced in my Nigerian community. Familiar Bible readings, favorite hymns, and families sitting together in pews brought solace to my searching soul.

A New Sense of Community

A youth Bible study on Friday nights soon took the place of parties. I discovered the best of both worlds. Those kids had a heart for following God yet still had loads of fun. I no longer needed to follow rules for rules’ sake but out of love for God who invited me into His family as His adopted daughter.

In my last year of college, I started dating a handsome young man, Chris Warren, whom I met in fifth grade at the church my family attended during our furlough. After two years of dating and engagement, we married and began our own family.

Soon we had three kids. When the oldest began kindergarten, we entered him in a public school up the street. It was a dream come true walking my son to classes, pushing our youngest one in the stroller, and meeting up with friends.  Being together as a family each evening began to make up for the years I had spent apart from mine at boarding school.

A neighbor invited us to attend the church around the corner. There, I met more moms whose kids attended the same school. Walking between church, school, and home with my kids brought me joy, and I began to recapture the sense of community I had cherished on our mission station as a child. With budding friendships for my kids and me, I was beginning to feel seen and known. Like I belonged.

Home, At Last

A few months later, I went with the church women on a weekend retreat. At dinner time, I strolled alone down the hill from my cabin at the retreat center. Nearing the dining room, I heard the clinking of plates and utensils, the chatter and laughter of a happy crowd, and my stomach constricted with familiar waves of homesickness. Will I feel lost in the crowd again?

Stepping through the doorway, I scanned the boisterous group and my stomach tightened. Slowly and deliberately, I placed one foot in front of the other and sauntered up the aisle between rows of tables. My heart pounded like a drum.

Then I spied one of my cabinmates several tables away. Her eyes crinkled as she smiled, and she waved a hand above her head. “Over here, Debbie. We’ve saved you a seat.”

That night as I lay in bed, my tummy filled with a good meal and my heart with an uplifting Bible message, I realized I’d again found my community. A fellowship of compassionate women, forging friendships, nurturing families, and studying God’s Word.

And the food was much better than dorm food.

Link it to Your Life

When have you felt alone in a crowd? How did you handle that? During the busy holiday season, when things get overwhelming, what is one way you can care for yourself?

God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. (Ephesians 1:5 NLT)

To Read More

“Lost in the Crowd” was published November 2021 in Inspire Community which is available for purchase here. This anthology, a collection of writings from fifteen members of Inspire Christian Writers, contains a look at the concept and importance of community, and its place in our identity, from many angles. We hope it blesses and encourages you … And is a reminder of how very much we need each other.

To learn more about me and the purpose of this blog, Above All Else, click over to the About page here.