During her 80s, my mom painstakingly wrote her memoir. Drawing on her memories of thirty years in Nigeria, she worked hard to summarize her life and the years she and my dad spent serving in Nigeria with SIM. To fill in her memory, she referred to the many letters she had written over the decades to family and friends back home in the US. When she turned 92, we finally published her magnum opus on Amazon KDP.

The back of the book draws readers in. “Growing up on a farm in California’s fertile Central Valley, Marcella Delk understands the importance of timing for planting and harvesting crops. When she hears God’s call to plant seeds of the Good News of Jesus in faraway fields, she goes to Bible college to train as one of God’s laborers–and meets Herbert Jones. He, too, has heard the call.

“Follow Marcella’s journey to Nigeria, where she, Herb, and their five children discover the many joys and challenges that come with planting God’s Gospel. Although she misses her children, who are sent to boarding school, and her extended family back home, she’s surrounded by the larger family of God’s harvesters.

“Nigerian believers and missionaries labor together to spread the Good News among people hungry for spiritual food. Through laughter and tears, they forge deep bonds in the shared planting of the Gospel. Thirty years on the mission field, she’s the farm girl who answered God’s call.”

Marcy’s First Speaking Engagement

This month, my mom, also known as Aunt Marcy and Grandma Jones, was asked to share her memoir. One of my writing mentors, Penny Childers, spearheads a monthly dinner meeting of “9 to 5 for Christ” at Northpark Community Church in Fresno. This vibrant group of women embraced Marcy as their special speaker for the evening.

A serendipitous coincidence was discovering that two members of the group already knew my mom. Joyce Ward Eden attended the same boarding school as the five of us Jones kids, Hillcrest School, in Jos, Nigeria. Another member of 9 to 5 for Christ, Karen Dawn Wood, married Russell, who also attended Hillcrest School. So, in the weeks leading up to her momentous speaking engagement, Mom felt supported by these special friends.

Karen and Russell, our audiovisual geniuses for the event, created a slide show including Mom’s photos, and Karen interviewed Mom. She had read the book several times so was able to ask pertinent questions, leading Marcy to share the most poignant aspects of her story.

I invited two guests for the evening, two women with whom I had lived at different times during my college years. Pat Willems and Bobbye Metzler had filled in for my mother as I navigated into adulthood in this strange, new country. When I first moved to Reedley to start college, I lived with Pat. She and Walt, along with their two children, Pamela and Bruce, kindly took me in when my parents flew back to their ministry in Nigeria. I was desperately lonely for my old home, my parents, and my siblings. I cried every night for the first month, but I could not understand why. I’ve been away from my parents since I was six years old, I mused. Why am I missing them now?

Running Away and Returning

Out of rebellion, I turned away from my parents’ faith, enrolled at Fresno City College, and started a partying lifestyle. I eventually went on to graduate from California State University, Fresno. After four years, I came to my senses and was done with sowing my wild oats, so I began attending church, where I met Bobbye. She had three daughters, Rhonda, Dana, and Kristin. They helped me settle down and get back on the straight and narrow path and come back to my faith in God.

Completing the surprises for the evening was meeting up with Bonnie Kleinsasser Nyberg. Her family had lived in a nearby village when I lived in Egbe, and I hadn’t realized she now lived in Fresno.

Before the event began, the women circled my mom, and Joyce prayed. I don’t remember all her words, but she ended with, “Thank you, Lord, for the ways you changed the world through Marcy’s willingness to serve you.” That helped give me a deeper appreciation for all that my mom went through in her life. But it didn’t mean I had to deny, cover up, or excuse the pain I went through, especially during my boarding school years.

With my “adopted” mothers present during those two evening hours, while my mom shared from her memoir, several of my worlds collided. It was a surreal experience to relive it all–my mom sharing her tales of my ancestral journey, friends from my youth in Nigeria, two women who filled in for my mother during college, and finally, Penny, my writing mentor, who is currently encouraging me to publish my memoir.

Near the end of her talk, Mom shared that when Dad died in November 2015, she found comfort in the words of Isaiah 41:10 ~ Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.
Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you.
I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. (From the New Living Translation)

Making Peace with my Past

Those words also meant a lot to me in college. I had many fears because even though I had my aunt in the area, I chose to live life my way. Yet I felt lost and alone, and I was searching for love in all the wrong places. When I started attending church again, I was embraced into a community that brought back memories of happy times with the close-knit families on our mission station in Nigeria. I was finally able to accept the love offered by Pat, Bobbye, and other women who offered to build into my life. These women were missionaries to me, helping me to accept God’s love.

At the end of the evening of Mom’s speaking engagement, we drove home to her assisted living residence at Palm Village. As I dropped her off at the door to her room, she was tired but happy.

We hugged, and she looked up at me with a cheeky grin. “I’m exhausted. It’s really a bother to be so famous!”

That made me laugh. In the past, many of my mom’s quirky sayings irritated me. But in recent years, I’ve been able to forgive her for sending me to boarding school and other times when I felt nurture was lacking. Forgiveness has been a long journey, but it freed me to look on her with patience. Now I’m able to offer grace instead of judgment to my mom, the harvester who answered God’s call.

To read more about how and when I was able to forgive my parents, check out my blog post titled “A Surprise Experience of Forgiveness.”