Surprise! I’m a Hidden Immigrant
Here’s the link to a podcast in which I’m interviewed by a writer friend, Mabel Ninan https://player.lightcast.com/0AjM5kjN Below is the story behind this interview!
In April 1963, my husband and his family immigrated to California from Scotland when he was five years old. In the first few months of kindergarten, kids often pushed or punched him just to get him to speak. Then they laughed at his funny accent. By Christmas, the shy, little boy had taught himself to speak with an American accent to avoid standing out and being ripe pickings for pranksters.
The next summer, in August 1964, my family and I moved from Nigeria back to California where I had been born five years earlier. My parents, along with my three brothers and I, were returning from their missionary teaching positions in Egbe for a year’s furlough in Lodi.
During playtime in my new school, I struggled to work the strange-looking blue mailbox. The teacher walked over and showed me how to open the slot under the dome and push the flat, wooden blocks into the receptacle. As the whole class looked on, my face flushed hot, and my hands began to sweat. Why didn’t I know how to do this daily American activity?
Chris’s experience was that of an immigrant, a foreigner. Even though he looked the same, he thought differently and spoke differently. When he opened his mouth, others immediately knew he wasn’t from this place, so they expected him to be different. Sadly, they made fun of the differences.
My experience was that of a hidden immigrant which brought its own set of challenges. I looked the same and spoke the same but thought differently. Because I looked and sounded similar, others expected me to act the same way they did. I felt embarrassed when I was unfamiliar with common activities, words, or behaviors.
Fast forward to 2021. My dear friend, Mabel Ninan, also a writer and an immigrant from India, hosts a podcast called Immigrant Faith Stories. I felt privileged when she asked to interview me.
While we prepared for the podcast, I was surprised to realize at times I still feel like a hidden immigrant. Here’s the link to the interview which will air on Roku TV for three months. My video is Season 2 – Episode 3 https://player.lightcast.com/0AjM5kjN
Link it to Your Life
When have you felt like an outsider or you just didn’t fit in? How many times have you moved and what struggles did you face with each move? What can you do now when you feel unseen or pressured to blend in?
One Step Further
Look for someone in your neighborhood, church, community, or place of work who is new or simply having difficulty fitting in. What is one small way you can reach out to them?
You can find Mabel on YouTube, Facebook, and through her website:
www.mabelninan.com
https://www.facebook.com/MabelNinan
https://www.youtube.com/c/ImmigrantFaithStories
For more details on my journey of forgiveness, see my previous blog post here.
13 thoughts on “Surprise! I’m a Hidden Immigrant”
I remember at the MK school in El Salvador there was a little kid named Simon, from Britain. If you did something that upset him, he’d say “I’m going to smock you on the bottom” with that delightful accent, so kids would do minor little things just to hear him say it.
I’d had enough experiences as the immigrant and as the hidden immigrant to always be looking out for the mistreated kids and the outcasts [so much so that after I was safely married I learned that my family was all worried I’d end up marrying some girl just to protect her from bad people].
Somehow, I did not think of Simon as being mistreated at that time: if I saw anything that I thought was, I’d jump in to protect him (I was 8th grade, he was first or second, so not much interaction). I was only there that one year.
By the time I went to college, I realized that what was done to Simon was not nice, and have always wondered how things turned out for him.
How wonderful that you were able to stick up for Simon as much as you did. That’s interesting you were always helping those who were outcasts. Looking back, I’m sure we all wish we could have done more to protect the mistreated kids. But God used your sensitive heart to spare Simon from some of it! Thank you for sharing this heartwarming story. I’m praying that he found his way in the world safely.
Sorry – I didn’t word that adequately. Yes, I tried to help those I thought needed help [and as a kid my help wasn’t always the right ‘help’ – nor sometimes as an adult!].
But what I was trying to say above was that for some reason my mind didn’t see it as a problem needing to be fixed. So I didn’t help Simon (except the few times another kid really went overboard).
So in college thinking back on it, I realized that I could be blind to some problems, even while (sometimes at great expense to my own well-being) I helped others.
Thank you for that clarification. Yes, we all can be blind to others’ problems. And yet there are times when we reach out to help. I’m glad you shared this part of your life story with me!
Thanks John and Debbie for your comments above. To take sides with the ”victim” of verbal/ physical and emotional abuse, takes special courage/ wisdom and boldness- either as an age mate or even as an older person. Even we adults let kids ”fight it out” instead of intervening or teaching the other children worthwhile lessons by trying to correct the bad situation. Woe to the silent witness and hooray for the one who is able to make right various injustices.
So well said! Definitely makes me think about the many small kindnesses I’ve received that meant so much—
Tennessee makes me feel a bit like a stranger in a strange country! Lol! I’m embarrassed when I have to ask someone to repeat themselves because I can’t understand their accent.
The small kindnesses mean so much! I’m sure Tennessee feels like a new country to you, but I’ll bet your settling in now 🙂
Thank you for sharing you and your husband’s story of feeling like an outsider. So many children have had that experience, and they need to know others have felt the same way. My experience was when my parents sent me to Christian school from kindergarten through second grade. I grew up in a town that was predominately upper middle class, where the “right” church was either Reformed or Christian Reformed, and where the phrase rang true, “If you ain’t Dutch, you ain’t much.” My family was poor, we attended the Plymouth Brethren Church, and we were not Dutch enough to be accepted in the community. I did not fit in, and had no friends for the three years I attended that school. By the time I entered third grade, my parents could no longer afford to send me to Christian school, so I was able to go to public school where I immediately made friends. From this experience, I learned to be aware of others who may not fit in, and to seek to help them feel (and be) included and welcome. God used this experience in ways that, though painful, have helped direct my life in ways I will be forever grateful for.
Thanks for your insightful comments. May God bless you as you help others to feel included.
Thank you so much, David. You are a blessing to everyone in your community too!
Thank you so much for sharing that experience, Robby! How painful for you, but how wonderful you made friends in the public school. And I’m so encouraged to hear how you allowed God to use that difficult experience in many ways in your life.
A really good topic, Debbie–indeed, how many of us have felt at one time or other like an outsider looking in? Not knowing what the norm is in this place?
Most of us have felt that way, I think! Thank you so much for sharing this, Jean. It helps to know we’re not alone.